Ballet dancers told to retrain as Tories so they can help them dance around tough questions
The Conservatives have instructed dancers to retrain as spokespersons for the Party to help them pirouette around difficult questions.
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Culture Secretary to be made redundant after Tories make entire sector disappear
Culture Secretary and former star of ‘Game On’, Oliver Dowden, is to be made redundant after the Conservative Party’s free-market policies have resulted in the disappearance of the entire arts sector.
Dominic Cummings to be knighted for services to Dominic Cummings
The Prime Minister’s Chief Advisor has done such a great job of manipulating government policy to serve his own private interests that he’s now manipulated the honours system to recognise his own achievements in the field.
‘The fire is here to stay, we just need to learn to live with it’ – Man decides to not call fire brigade
A man has decided not to call the fire brigade after his house caught fire saying that ‘the fire is here to say, we just need to learn to live with it’.
