Police have been surprised to see that Nigel Farage has now rallied against restrictions on his freedom of movement, as they had always thought this was something he would be into.
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Nurse Simone Williams has thanked the public for their ongoing weekly round of applause, after saving enough applause to pay her mortgage this month.
The Bank of Nook is facing criticism today after it approached the government for a 4.5bn bell bailout due to ‘massively risky’ speculation in the tarantula and turnip futures markets going wrong.
Benny Hill cosplayer and occasional prime minister, Boris Johnson, has explained his vision for a progressive end to the lockdown which would begin with bringing back some eye candy for gents whose current shag is being tetchy, and eventually moving to a full return of delightful young things who know a thing or two about discretion.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
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