The government has declared that a ‘scotch egg’ will count as a substantial meal during Tier 2 and 3 lockdowns, following a sizeable donation to the Tory party by a mysterious Scotch Egg oligarch.
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Tins of Quality Street are getting smaller so fast they will be invisible to the naked eye ‘within the decade’, scientists have confirmed.
The government has revealed plans to avoid a deadly third wave of coronavirus infections today by extending the current second wave by up to three months.
An Essex man has taken to Twitter in order to alert the popular presenter Tess Daly to the fact that he finds her attractive.
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