Arcadia could survive if Sir Philip Green bothered to check down the back of his sofa
Topshop, Burton and Dorothy Perkins might be alright if Sir Philip Green checked under his arse.
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Roast Chicken flavoured crisps count as substantial meal but Cheese & Onion do not, confirms government
Crisps count as a meal, but only if they are flavoured as such, the government has today confirmed.
Christmas decorations to stay up until everyone vaccinated
People have decided that it will now be Christmas until the ‘new normal’ fucks back off to where it came from.
Elf on a Shelf to report people for breaking lockdown this Christmas
Santa’s delightful little elven helper, who hides around the house watching for naughty children in the run-up to Christmas, has been given the power to report people for breaking lockdown and issue on the spot fines and perform immediate arrests if necessary.
