First vaccine patient Margaret Keenan strangely compelled into shopping spree for Microsoft products
The first person in the world to receive the Pfizer vaccine outside of clinical trials is relaxing this morning, after bizarrely spending a frantic first half-hour after receiving the jab compulsively buying unnecessary Microsoft products online.
Government announces rapid vaccine deployment programme after hiring nation’s darts players
Health minister Matt Hancock announced a new ‘rapid deployment’ scheme for the covid vaccine, which will see darts players used to vaccinate vulnerable groups without ever breaching social distancing guidelines.
Boris Johnson planning to do entire Brexit assignment night before it is due
Boris Johnson is planning to do his entire Brexit assignment on the night before it is due to be handed in.