Leave voters were left reeling this morning after learning that a number of continental countries had somehow managed to control their own borders whilst still being part of the European Union.
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Prior to Mike Ashley’s takeover of Santa’s workshop there were concerns throughout the elvish community that the Sports Direct mogul would bring about a dramatic deterioration in working conditions.
A Berkshire man is this morning busy practising his disappointed face after learning that the new Tier 4 restrictions mean he will no longer have to host his in-laws on Christmas and Boxing Day.
The government has announced a U-turn in its willingness to perform U-turns, before insisting there will be no more U-turns after their latest U-turn.
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