Chelsea owner Roman Abramovic is said to be growing impatient with new manager Thomas Tuchel as he began his second day on the payroll without securing any silverware whatsoever.
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The Prime Minister has today advised the nation, as the UK passes 100K deaths from coronavirus, that he has done everything he could during this whole pandemic, to completely fuck it up.
A man is absolutely furious today after completing a 40-minute lunchtime run which counted for absolutely nothing after completely forgetting to wear his new Fitbit in order to track his progress.
In a bid to stamp out the growing popularity in Scotland for independence, the Prime Ministers will head north of the Tweed to garner goodwill by distributing trinkets and performing his hilarious impression of a Highlander who does not like to spend money.
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bellendry from all around the world.
