Dipshits who insisted on going around coughing on their neighbours and not washing their hands have ruined things for everyone else, it has emerged.
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Boris Johnson will announce a second lockdown for the nation, as soon as he can make it sound less like he’s doing precisely what Keir Starmer told him to do over a fortnight ago.
Britain’s toilet paper manufacturers have already put in their orders for a new car after new lockdowns were announced.
Sean Connery has hit the ejection seat for the last time, we are sad to report.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
