In a political masterstroke, the SNP leader brandished her new Tory party membership card which immediately led her opponents to stop calling for her to step down and instead explain that she regrets people felt misled and that they now considered the matter closed.
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Buckingham Palace says it will investigate claims that the Duchess of Sussex bullied Prince Andrew into being friends with a sex offender and having sex with teenage girls.
A 55-year-old man is today questioning the concept of ‘white privilege’ after being kept on hold while waiting to talk to a call centre worker about his phone bill.
Her Majesty the Queen is absolutely bloody loving not having to share a bed.
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