Hypertensive curtain-twitchers, whose crippling insecurity propels them to find self-worth in symbols and hatred of anyone different, have spent the past 48 hours claiming that being the butt of somewhat puerile jokes is the same as being the victim of lifelong discrimination.
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The critically-panned Census questionnaire is to be revamped as an all-action sword-and-sorcery adventure after focus groups complained that it was ‘dry,’ ‘lifeless’, and ‘lacking in fight sequences’.
With the final version of Brexit now seen by most people as disappointing, poorly conceived and nowhere near as good as was initially promised, there are calls to release the Snyder Cut of Brexit to see if that will improve it at all.
Patriotic viewers have bombarded Ofcom with complaints after BBC Breakfast presenters were seen giggling at Robert Jenrick’s prominent display of a lifelike sex doll made to look like HRH as she was during her Golden Jubillee with 3 vibrating orifices.
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