UK

Nigel Farage spending 77th anniversary of D-Day reminiscing about the time he addressed a far-right rally in Germany

Today, British citizens across the country will be remembering the D-Day landings on their 77th anniversary, including Nigel Farage who spoke at a German rally for far-right political party AfD just a few short years ago.

BBQ ruined as neighbour takes thunderous shit with window open

A barbecue has been ruined in spectacular fashion.

Government to seek advice from Ian Brown before lockdown decision

Prime Minister Boris fucking Johnson is reportedly considering an extension to current lockdown restrictions, but is waiting for advice from Ian Brown before making a final decision.

Boris Johnson ruffling his hair

Boris struggling with seven-day itch

The Prime Minister has been married to Carrie for a whole week and his eye is starting to wander.

Queen forced to shop at Lidl as tourism revenue dries up

Report: We could lift the lockdown today if everyone agrees to drive bumper cars all the time

Leave-supporting tabloids looking forward to writing headlines about the dastardly EU forcing Brits to get visas

Drinking bleach and taking malaria medication doesn’t work, confirms Chris Grayling

People who smell bullshit need to self-isolate immediately, insists Boris Johnson

Premier League return delayed over concern footballers too immature to social distance

Dominic Cummings can see what's wrong with government

Why does no one want to download my COVID data gathering app, asks Dominic Cummings

‘Loss of taste’ added to COVID-19 symptoms as government recommends self-isolation for anyone who recently enjoyed Mrs Brown’s Boys

UK

God struggling to stay logged in to every church service on Zoom

Man regains sense of physical intimacy after stepping on slug

“I’ve had my human rights taken from me!” says man freely protesting in a public space

Country getting back to normal as Priti Patel downgrades foreign NHS staff from ‘welcome key workers’ to ‘dirty immigrants’

Keir Starmer drowns puppies, insists Nadine Dorries

Contrarian arseholes looking forward to weekend at home after outdoor restrictions lifted

UK

Government finalising strategy to blame you for coronavirus deaths

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