Man who didn’t wear a seatbelt and didn’t die acting like he’s proved something
Seatbelts are useless and make no difference, Simon Williams has told friends after not dying during a drive to the shops today.
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“Nice weather for ducks” absolutely isn’t, confirms ducks
Ducks have confirmed that heavy rain is in no way ‘nice weather’, according to reports this afternoon.
‘Vladimir Putin once threatened me with a nuclear missile’ and other lies you can tell women to impress them
Talking to women can be difficult, and sometimes a little white lie can go a long way to creating the impression you were hoping for, instead of them relying on the slightly-overweight dishevelled creature sitting before them.
1970s comedy writers apologise for not accurately predicting which jokes would be acceptable in 2020s
Comedy writers who worked in the 1970s have offered their sincere apologies for failing to accurately predict what would be an acceptable joke in the year 2023.
