Piers Morgan has sensationally claimed that Meghan Markle travelled back in time and cursed him, using voodoo magic, to have a ¾ inch micro-penis for all his life.
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Despite not breaking broadcasting rules, Piers Morgan is still a proper twat, according to media regulator Ofcom.
The Myers Briggs personality test, which is used in many workplaces to help people understand that their HR department is full of clueless chancers, has had a radical revamp which does away with the traditional 16 personality types, now deemed too numerous.
Afghans who worked for the British military and the UK government will be able to live freely in the UK until the Tories need to appease their horrible racist supporters, the Home Office has announced.
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