UK

Britain once again crowned champion at grinning through a humiliating Eurovision defeat

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For the fourth time in Eurovision’s history, the UK has shown that it is still the very best in the world at smiling awkwardly while presenters loudly announce that 42 judges have declared it utterly shit at singing.

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Game of Thrones shocks fans with ‘it was all a dream’ soap opera ending

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The critically acclaimed TV series Game of Thrones, a tale of dragons, swords and politics has upset fans by ending the show with original character Ned Stark “waking up” in the shower in 1980s America.

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Concern that rise in conspiracy theories could be the work of secret organisation of powerful elites

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There is concern that the rise in number and prominence of conspiracy theories is actually the work of a shadowy secret organisation of powerful elites that includes the Queen, Tony Blair, and space-lizards from the planet Rigor-7.

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Shock as Theresa May fails to negotiate a deal with someone

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As cross-party Brexit talks between the Conservatives and Labour close without an agreement, the country is left stunned at how this could happen to a woman with such a gift for negotiation.

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Boris Johnson submits planning application for 10 Downing Street sex dungeon

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Ahead of his inevitable appointment to the position of Prime Minister, Boris Johnson is reportedly planning some home developments for Number Ten.

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Decisive Labour Party not ruling out looking into the possible option of discussing a hypothetical 2nd referendum (should all else fail)

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Alarming polls for the upcoming EU elections have forced the Labour party to focus their campaign on Jeremy Corbyn’s firm pledge to perhaps evaluate proposals to discuss the option of a People’s Vote, should his Brexit plan fail or he can’t trigger a General Election. Maybe.

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Change UK election strategy to share really savage memes about Nigel Farage

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Change UK, who are apparently still going, have revealed that they have developed a foolproof campaign strategy for the upcoming election.

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Dragon attack on Kings Landing was a ‘false flag’, claims Winterfell conspiracy theorist

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Winterfell conspiracy theorist Sinom Wilyems has published a pamphlet claiming the recent dragon attacks on Kings Landing were a ‘false flag’ orchestrated by the Lannisters.

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“Oh fucking goody” says everyone

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Boris Johnson has announced he will stand for the leadership of the Conservative party, leading to everyone saying “oh fucking goody”.

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Game of Thrones fans left shocked as Daenerys kills almost as many innocent people as Tony Blair

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Game of Throne fans have been left shocked and saddened after Daenerys Stormborn used her superior military equipment to kill almost as many people as Tony Blair did in Iraq.

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