UK hits highest rate of Covid app deletion since pandemic began
Yesterday saw the highest daily rate of NHS Test and Trace Covid app deletion since the pandemic began.
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‘Bronze is nothing to celebrate’, insists man who threw a party when his book was 9th in the best-sellers list
Piers Morgan has today diminished the achievements of bronze medalists at the Olympic games, insisting no one should celebrate coming 3rd, despite throwing a party when his book scraped in the top 10 best-sellers.
Boris to implement laws to compel public to embrace new post-lockdown freedoms
Boris Johnson will today announce a series of emergency measures that will compel people to embrace the new freedoms given to them by the lifting of all Covid restrictions.
Flag shaggers put away crusty St George’s flag and lube up the Union Jack as Olympics get underway
Rage-filled nationalists who can only find sexual release through the worship of symbols triggered by the sporting prowess of total strangers, have confirmed that they have stopped jizzing on the England flag and are now rubbing themselves raw on the UK’s standard.
