UK

We will still mercilessly take the piss out of Audi Drivers in 2022, confirm NewsThump writers

The editorial staff of moderately popular satire website NewsThump have announced that 2022 will not see any change in their longstanding and somewhat perplexing quest to portray Audi drivers as everything from tragically insecure poseurs to sociopathic road menaces.

Everyone to receive enough XP to level up after surviving 2021

After a challenging encounter with 2021, everyone is to receive enough XP to get their next level.

‘2022 still pretty shit’ warn Australians

The year 2022 is still ‘pretty shit’ according to Australians who have now begun bringing in the New Year because they live in the future.

Prince Andrew’s New Year resolution to write every day in his prison diary

The Duke of York wants to write more regularly and 2022 may present him with the perfect opportunity to do so.

Man eating soup out of a bowl

Depraved degenerate caught eating ‘cup-a-soup’ out of a bowl

Paul Merton may be forced to retire controversial “Arlene Foster” character

“Actually, I said I would rather see bodies pile high than pay for my flat to be renovated” clarifies Boris

A rich old Tory

Tories polling at over 95% in key ‘too posh for John Lewis’ demographic

Children of Thanos adamant that public does not care about who snapped what finger

Social media trolls bravely defy Premier League boycott to remain unlikeable cretinous arseholes

‘I was wearing big ear muffs so I didn’t hear a thing’ says Michael Gove

Dominic Cummings can see what's wrong with government

Ex-Special Advisor with well-documented eyesight problems can apparently see everything wrong with government

I paid for the Downing Street sex dungeon myself, insists Boris Johnson

UK

Drowning Pool sue Boris Johnson for ripping off “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor”

Festival season begins early with newcomer ‘Plague In The Park’

Lockdown protester refusing to wear face mask will be quite happy wearing one in intensive care next month

‘We shouldn’t have to work today, it’s a disgrace’ says man sat in garden occasionally moving his laptop mouse

Daily Express wanks itself dry as Princess Diana’s grandson celebrates birthday on Saint George’s Day

Boris Johnson tells COP26 to ‘get serious’ by getting his pole dancing mistress to drive a forklift through a wall of kippers.

Pages: 123456789101112131415161718192021222324252627282930313233343536373839404142434445464748495051525354555657585960616263646566676869707172737475767778798081828384858687888990919293949596979899100101102103104105106107108109110111112113114115116117118119120121122123124125126127128129130131132133134135136137138139140141142143144145146147148149150151152153154155156157158159160161162163164165166167168169170171172173174175176177178179180181182183184185186187188189190191192193194195196197198199200201202203204205206207208209210211212213214215216217218219220221222223224225226227228229230231232233234235236237238239240241242243244245246247248249250251252253254255256257258259260261262263264265266267268269270271272273274275276277278279280281282283284285286287288289290291292293294295296297298299300301302303304305306307308309310311312313314315316317318319320321322323324325326327328329330331332333334335336337338339340341342343344345346347348349350351352353354355356357358359360361362363364365366367368369370371372373374375376377378379380381382383384385386387388389390391392393394395396397398399400401402403404405406407408409410411412413414415416417418419420421422423424425426427428429430431432433434435436437438439440441442443444445446447448449450451452453454455456457458459460461462463464465466467468469470471472473474475476477478479480481482483484485486487488489490491492493494495496497498499500501502503504505506507508509510511512513514515516517518519520521522523524525526527528529530531532533534535536537538539540541542543544545546547548549550551552553554555556557558559560561562563564565566567568569570571572573574575576577578579580581582583584585586587588589590591592593594595596597598599600601602603604605606607608609610611612613614615616617618619620621622623624625626627628629630631632633634635636637638639640641642643644645646647648649650651652653654655656657658659660661662663664665666667668669670671672673674675676677678679680681682683684685686687688689690691692693694695696697698699700701702703704705706707708709710711712713714715716717718719720721722723724725726727728729730731732733734735736737738739740741742743744745746747748749750751752753754755756757758759760761762763764765766767768769770771772773774775776777778779780781782783784785786787788789790791792793794795796797798799800801802803804805806807808809810811812813814815816817818819820821822823824825826827828829830831832833834835836837838839840841842843844845846847848849850851852853854855856857858859860861862863864865866867868869870871872873874875876877878879880881882883884885886887888889890891892