Priti Patel begins process of deporting alien seen on John Lewis advert
The Home Secretary is fuming this morning after learning of an immigrant who has arrived in the country by spaceship.
View article >UK
Owen Paterson puts his prices up
As a result of recent government action, professional lobbyist Owen Paterson has declared that he regretfully had no choice but to follow the market and raise his customary fees, but did say he expected to have increased opportunities to sell influence.
Nation relieved that urgent climate emergency being addressed by worst possible person at worst possible time
As Boris Johnson’s involvement in COP26 comes to an end, a grateful nation is relaxed knowing that the urgent climate emergency is being addressed by the worst possible person at the worst possible time.
Owen Paterson was only corrupt in a very limited and specific way, insists government
The government has explained that former minister Owen Paterson was not to be sanctioned as he only acted improperly on behalf of the companies who paid him and that the investigation into him was flawed as it didn’t take into account that he really likes money.
