Victims of war come in many shapes and sizes, and despite the fact that the conflict between Russia and Ukraine is a thousand miles away, some of the hardest-hit victims are in and around Stamford Bridge, according to Chelsea fans today.
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Roman Abramovic has embarrassingly had his card declined whilst trying to do his big shop at Aldi.
Senior politicians on both sides of the Atlantic are bracing themselves for nuclear attack because UK Foreign Secretary Liz Truss is to speak in public again today.
Priti Patel, Nigel Farage and Rupert Murdoch have all clubbed together to purchase a high-end lair under a volcano somewhere in the ocean.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
