A man has taken to social media this morning to call Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe ‘ungrateful’ after she complained about five foreign secretaries over six years failing to secure her release from Iran, despite the fact he often asks to ‘speak to the manager’ when he is kept on hold for more than five minutes.
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The Royal Family has insisted today that they cannot afford to offer slavery reparations for Jamaica, due to spending everything they have on keeping Prince Andrew out of prison.
The Tory government has confirmed that we are at war with Eastasia, and that we have always been at war with Eastasia.
Downing Street has explained that Boris Johnson’s legendary tendency to hide away, when confronted with mild inconveniences such as people wanting to talk to him, is exactly what makes him want to spend a day with a leader whose daily itinerary includes dodging Russian hit squads.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
