Boris Johnson shits on floor, buggers cat, commits murder
On a fairly quiet day for the Prime Minister of Great Britain, Boris Johnson has done a big shit on the floor, buggered a local cat, and committed murder.
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Carrie Johnson devastated to learn further fines could mean she’s forced to shop at John Lewis
Carrie Johnson is said to be absolutely devastated today as the possibility of further fines issued to her and her husband for partying during lockdown could mean she is forced to shop at John Lewis for her future home furnishing needs.
Does this mean I can have my old job back? asks Allegra Stratton
After it became apparent that breaking the law during a Covid lockdown is not an offence for which you should immediately resign, former Downing Street Press Secretary Allegra Stratton has asked if she can have her old job back. Stratton resigned in April last year after footage emerged of her joking about the ‘gatherings’ for
Boris: I’m sorry I got caught breaking the law and promise to avoid getting caught next time
The Prime Minister has apologised for getting caught breaking the law and pledged that he won’t get caught next time.
