Boris Johnson has admitted to being too stupid to understand his own simple laws in an attempt to convince the nation that he is definitely the right man to continue leading us. Johnson explained that he did not believe he broke any laws at the time of his Downing Street parties, in a stunning admission
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After initially telling officials in the Hague that “All guidance was followed”, “No rules were broken” and “Nobody told him it was a war”, Vladimir Putin has insisted that British senior civil servant Sue Gray lead any investigation into war crimes in Ukraine.
‘If you fuck up again there will be consequences and we really really mean it this time,’ senior Conservatives have told Boris Johnson today. Johnson, who has fucked up before and will definitely do it again, has apparently been told this time is absolutely, positively, definitely his last chance and we’re not kidding this time
A jubilant Manchester United fan is celebrating today after his team managed to somehow scrape a four nil defeat from bitter rivals Liverpool. Simon Williams, who stayed up into the night celebrating revealed his delight earlier after looking once again at the team sheets and then reading what the statistics were from last night’s Premier
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
