“I’m not boring” Keir Starmer tells audience of gently snoozing journalists
Sir Keir Starmer has today tried to wake a press junket en masse from their slumber to tell them how interesting he is.
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‘Southgate needs to go’ insists man who eleven months ago had ‘Southgate is a legend’ tattooed on his chest
A man has today insisted that Gareth Southgate is rubbish and needs to be sacked, despite believing that Gareth Southgate was a legend and should be given a new contract less than 12 months ago.
Fury at European Court of Human Rights blocking Rwanda deportations gives Brexiter first full erection since 2019
The perfect ragestorm of European judges interfering in Britain’s sovereign act of racism has delighted many Brexiters by giving them such a blood rush they managed to get a proper hate-stiffy, the likes of which they had not experienced since the Brexit wars of three years ago.
Charity shops overwhelmed by sudden surge in donations of M&S waistcoats
Following England’s 4-0 drubbing at the hands of Hungary, charity shops across the country have this morning been besieged by donations of precision-tailored M&S waistcoats.
