The government has reacted to BP making a £6.9 billion quarterly profit in the midst of an energy crisis by insisting it is just further proof that privatising essential national services works really well.
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As Liz Truss strengthens her hold on the leadership battle, many people are now taking seriously the possibility that Great Britain could have its first non-human Prime Minister.
The unprecedented drought has forced water company Southern Water to impose a hosepipe ban in parts of the country as low river flow threatens the daily discharge of human excrement that is absolutely vital to the ability of shareholders to buy shiny new stuff.
A lady in her thirties who asked for something in an email and ended it with ‘no worries if not’ was lying, it has emerged.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
