As the search begins for a new Conservative party chairman, Jacob Rees-Mogg has suggested the Tories should replace Nadhim Zahawi – a man fined by HMRC – with Boris Johnson – a man fined by the police.
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Seatbelts are useless and make no difference, Simon Williams has told friends after not dying during a drive to the shops today.
Ducks have confirmed that heavy rain is in no way ‘nice weather’, according to reports this afternoon.
Talking to women can be difficult, and sometimes a little white lie can go a long way to creating the impression you were hoping for, instead of them relying on the slightly-overweight dishevelled creature sitting before them.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
