Man vows to instigate ‘complete reform’ of arse-wiping technique following ‘string of failures’
A Dunstable man has vowed to “right the wrongs” of his arse-wiping method after being left “golden-fingered” for the third time in a week.
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Dad has lovely relaxing time while pretending to look for Christmas decorations in the attic
Local dad Simon Williams has enjoyed an extended trip to his attic under the guise of hunting for Christmas decorations.
Diana would be ashamed of Harry’s behaviour, insist cretins
Amidst a truly bizarre tabloid hate-fest over Harry and Meghan’s Netflix show, some of Fleet Street’s finest talking chancers decreed that the Prince’s actions would somehow have angered a woman who hated both the press and the royal family with good reason.
Communal canteen sugar bowl now 74% coffee granules
A communal canteen sugar bowl is now 74% coffee granules it has been revealed today.
