A local man who has not left his house in almost two months has been informed that the rest of the world is actually also in lockdown, after it was confirmed that he had spent the entire time playing the new Animal Crossing: New Horizons video game.
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HR manager Simone Williams was today silently and immediately judged by her colleagues during a Zoom call in which she appeared to sit in front of a bookcase filled with trashy novels by Mills & Boon.
Elon Musk has finally come down from being high as a kite for the last three days and expressed a hope he didn’t say anything he might regret whilst off his tits.
Zoom CEO and recent purchaser of a personal tennis court, Eric Yuan, has reportedly told inside sources that he still can’t believe how well his birthday wish from last year has turned out.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
