Technology

Israel fires spacecraft at the moon after alleging someone there threw stones at them

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Israel has been accused of ‘overreacting’ after it fired a projectile into the moon in a show of strength against what it calls ‘moon-dwelling stone throwers’.

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“Sexual health” robots demand better working conditions and therapy

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A new range of A.I. driven robots used in hospitals and the home for intimate procedures have launched a campaign to highlight the over-familiar duties they perform in the workplace.

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Man buys ‘task management app’ in naive belief it will convert him into productive powerhouse

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A man has paid cash money for a task management app that he is convinced will change him from a perennial task avoider, into a productive powerhouse capable of anything.

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Harry and Meghan took my Instagram account says Barry Fuckallpeasants

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A Sussex man has spoken of his surprise that Prince Harry and wife Meghan have been given his Instagram account name.

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Jet engine developers condemned for potentially bringing Australians ‘within four hours of the UK’

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There has been widespread outcry across Britain over the weekend, following an announcement that a super-fast engine, which could reduce flight times between Sydney and London to around four hours, is due to undergo key tests.

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Facebook promises their latest update means you’ll see even less of the stuff you actually follow

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Mark Zuckerberg has told Facebook users that new improvements to the popular social media platform will mean they see ‘even less’ of the stuff they’ve actually said they want.

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Facebook outage forces entire nation to descend into state of mass productivity

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After social networking site Facebook went off-line yesterday afternoon, the nation’s workers descended into what experts are calling a ‘terrifying frenzy of productivity’.

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Tesla announce urgent recall of Elon Musk

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Tesla Motors has announced an urgent recall of its popular ‘Elon Musk’ model, saying it is brilliantly engineered but fundamentally flawed and needs work.

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Tommy Robinson forced to go door-to-door to talk about Muslim grooming gangs

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As Facebook finally banned Tommy Robinson from their platform, Britain’s finest moron-baiter has been forced to start selling his special brand of race hate door-to-door.

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Mars rover Opportunity’s last words were “suck it, nerds”

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The Mars rover, known as Opportunity, has sent its last message.

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