Rooney’s inspiring speech mistaken for drone of strimmer
Wayne Rooney’s stirring first speech as England captain went largely unnoticed by teammates who presumed the noise to be a mechanical drone.
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Key to survival is taking points off our relegation rivals, insists Van Gaal
Following his side’s nil-nil draw with Burnley, Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal has urged his squad to continue taking points off their relegation rivals to ensure their Premier League survival.
David Moyes hospitalised following prolonged laughing fit
Former Manchester United Scotsman, David Moyes, is reportedly under intensive care in a Glasgow hospital after a prolonged fit of laughing left his life in serious danger.
Liverpool to replace mentally unstable forward with mentally unstable forward
Liverpool football club are to replace mentally unstable Luis Suarez with equally deranged Mario Balotelli, according to reports this morning.
