US dentist Walter Palmer has been granted a licence to hunt John Terry, after Chelsea officials declared their captain to now be too old to make a meaningful contribution to the club.
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Jose Mourinho has been thanked by administrators inside the NHS, after he reduced waiting lists to zero by declaring no-one genuinely in need of treatment.
‘Marauding’ migrants from god only knows where have begun the new football season with barely a sniffer dog in sight.
With just 38 games to go until the end of the Premier League season, the maths is simple: Liverpool are in control of their Premier League destiny.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
