Manchester derby to replace water-boarding as most extreme form of torture
Torturers around the world hailed yesterday’s Manchester derby as a new, incredibly powerful weapon in their arsenal.
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Jose Mourinho blames Chelsea loss on West Ham having the cheek to ‘turn up’
The manager of Chelsea FC has said his team’s poor performance on Saturday is due to the completely uncalled-for presence of the other team.
Boring man wins at cars
A dull human has proven himself the best at making cars go round and round really fast.
Rugby world cup still going on
There was dismay across the country yesterday as people realised that the Rugby World Cup still hasn’t finished.
