Football commentators downgrade gilt-edged opportunities
Football commentators have taken the step of downgrading one of their go-to cliches, in a move that will send shock waves through lexicon markets around the world.
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CHEAT! Erling Haaland stands accused of using vibrating anal beads to gain in-game advantage
The vibrating anal bead scandal surrounding leading chess player Hans Neimann seems to have spread to the world of football and one of the most high-profile players in the Premier League.
Vladimir Putin formally annexes Chelsea
To protect Chelsea supporters from the oppression of the premier league table, Vladimir Putin has declared his intention to intervene in London on ‘humanitarian grounds’.
‘I always pick the squad based on form’ insists man who picked Grealish, Maguire, Phillips and Shaw
Gareth Southgate has insisted today that he always selects his England squad based on current form, despite demonstrably not picking a squad based on their current form.
