With the All England Club set to shut its doors for the duration of the summer, Sir Andy Murray will be streaming his own special lockdown version of The Wimbledon Championships.
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After the Premier League has suspended further football matches until the end of April at the earliest, an increasingly desperate Sky Sports has secured the exclusive rights to the nation’s favourite pastime, watching people fight over toilet rolls in a packed supermarket.
The deaths of countless millions could well be a price worth paying to stop Liverpool winning the premier league, according to Manchester United fans this afternoon.
Manchester City’s exclusion from the Champions League has been dramatically lifted today after it has emerged that their owner Sheikh Mansour has bought UEFA in a cash-only deal.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
