Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Tedious twat hopes England lose

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Local smug tosser Simon Williams has confirmed he likes it when people he thinks are beneath him are unhappy.

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Gareth Southgate begs fairy folk to let him keep the magic waistcoat

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Gareth Southgate has begged the fair folk of fairyland to let him keep the magic waistcoat for just a few more days, according to reports.

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Brexiters unhappy at football coming ‘home’ to England via Schengen area

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Brexiters have queried the ethnicity of football after hearing it would like to come ‘home’ via the open borders inside the Schengen area.

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Neymar falls over again after toddler sneezes three feet away

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Notoriously tumble-prone Brazil star Neymar has fallen over three times today already, according to reports.

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Roy Keane to properly duff up Neymar

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Roy Keane is coming out of retirement to knock the piss out of Neymar.

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‘Is it me or is Gareth Southgate getting progressively more sexy?’ enquires everybody

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Gareth Southgate is definitely looking sexier and sexier.

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Neymar mistakes hand dryer for deadly tornado

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Brazilian superstar Neymar found himself caught in a disaster of epic proportions yesterday, after accidentally using a hand dryer at his hotel.

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Kasper Schmeichel and Peter Schmeichel consoled by fellow Schmeichels on Island of Schmeichel

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Kasper and Peter Schmeichel have returned home to the Island of Schmeichel.

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Michael Owen’s World Cup injury list rundown

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Hi, I’m Michael Owen, and this is my guide to who’s crocked and who’s not. You might say I’m the ideal person to do an injury summary having spent a fair bit of time on the bench myself.

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‘F*cking football’ says tennis

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Tennis is bloody annoyed at all this football nonsense taking up people’s time and filling up the TV schedules.

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