In a televised interview this morning, Derek and Eireen Williams have confirmed that they were both fast asleep in bed when their daughter won an Olympic medal, it has been reported.
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Lionel Messi is coming to take an English job, probably.
The Modern Pentathlon event – riding, swimming, running, shooting and fencing – has been won by a mysterious man in a mask who appeared in the Tokyo games without warning.
Jack Grealish’s agent Jonathan Barnett has been admitted to hospital after masturbating himself into a coma following the attacking midfielder’s £100m move to Manchester City that will see him earn in excess of £300k per week.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
