Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

‘I did warn you all that I might lose’ insists Conor McGregor

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Conor McGregor has defended his defeat at the hands of Khabib Nurmagomedov yesterday by insisting he had warned everyone that a loss was entirely possible.

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Mourinho: “My mum still thinks I’m special”

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After another bruising defeat for the manager once known as ‘The Special One’, José Mourinho has hit back at critics, saying that his mum still thinks he’s special.

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Burning your Nike trainers in protest ‘a great way to get out of going running’

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Local Man Simon Williams has used the outcry over Nike’s latest advert as an excuse to burn his trainers so he doesn’t have to go running any more.

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American racists to start burning crosses made from Nike trainers

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Racists across America are updating the long-held practice of burning crosses made of wood, to burn crosses made of Nike trainers after the sports company used Colin Kaepernick in its latest advertising campaign.

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Jose Mourinho slams Man Utd bosses for failing to invest in new manager

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Manchester United strop-monkey Jose Mourinho has hit out at his board for failing to invest in a new manager over the summer.

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‘Wenger In’ signs appearing at Emirates stadium after new manager’s pathetic start

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Famously tolerant Arsenal fans have already started bringing ‘Wenger In’ signs to matches after Unai Emery’s pathetic start to the season which began with a defeat to the best team in the world.

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Cardiff City storm to 5th place in Premier League

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Cardiff City have made a strong start to their return to the top flight, storming to fifth place in the Premier League.

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UK braces itself for plague of flabby men in cycling shorts following Geraint Thomas victory

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British people have been mentally preparing themselves for the horrific sight of overweight men in tight-fitting lycra huffing around the countryside on brand new racing bikes and claiming they were always keen cycling fans but ‘could never find the time’.

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Geraint Thomas wins Tour de France without indicating once

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Geraint Thoma has won his first Tour de France without once bothering to fucking indicate, according to reports this morning.

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Lance Armstrong’s Tour de France wins reinstated after Brexit revelation that cheating is fine

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Former cyclist Lance Armstrong, who had seven Tour de France wins revoked in 2012 when his long history of doping was exposed, has had all seven wins reinstated.

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