Sports

Sports news from NewsThump.com – bringing you the latest from the world of sport, updated every second.

Rampant consumerism celebrates 53rd consecutive Super Bowl victory

Thumbnail image for Rampant consumerism celebrates 53rd consecutive Super Bowl victory

Marketing professionals are celebrating yet another a magnificent victory in yesterday’s Super Bowl LIII, after securing unprecedented levels of coverage for their range of tawdry products.

Read the full article →

Everyone’s train journey dramatically improved by group of football fans

Thumbnail image for Everyone’s train journey dramatically improved by group of football fans

The hitherto humdrum and boring day of a group of train passengers has been livened up by a group of likeable and entertaining football fans.

Read the full article →

Lip-readers confirm that they couldn’t give a shit what footballers are saying

Thumbnail image for Lip-readers confirm that they couldn’t give a shit what footballers are saying

The British Deaf Association (BDA) has today confirmed that there is no longer a need for £50m prima-donna footballers to cover their mouths whenever they want to tell their manager that they need a wee-wee.

Read the full article →

American cop who arrested Rooney for public intoxication had just never heard a scouse accent before

Thumbnail image for American cop who arrested Rooney for public intoxication had just never heard a scouse accent before

The American police officer who arrested Wayne Rooney for ‘public intoxication’ at Dulles International Airport in Virginia has apologised after subsequently learning that this is how the footballer speaks all the time.

Read the full article →

Lewis Hamilton clarifies that he is “very proud to have come from that shithole of a town”

Thumbnail image for Lewis Hamilton clarifies that he is “very proud to have come from that shithole of a town”

Lewis Hamilton has apologised to anyone from Stevenage who he may have offended with his “wholly accurate description”.

Read the full article →

Jose Mourinho to advise Theresa May on European exits that delight a nation

Thumbnail image for Jose Mourinho to advise Theresa May on European exits that delight a nation

Former Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho is to advise Theresa May on the best way to leave Europe whilst simultaneously delighting the vast majority of people who watch you doing it.

Read the full article →

Big Sam Allardyce seals himself in Christmas wrapping paper and lies waiting outside Old Trafford

Thumbnail image for Big Sam Allardyce seals himself in Christmas wrapping paper and lies waiting outside Old Trafford

Sam Allardyce is giving himself to Manchester United this Christmas.

Read the full article →

Sacked Jose Mourinho comforted by fact that the world will soon be celebrating his birth

Thumbnail image for Sacked Jose Mourinho comforted by fact that the world will soon be celebrating his birth

Jose Mourinho has been sacked from his Manager position at Manchester United, but is comforted by the fact that millions around the world will soon be celebrating his arrival on Earth.

Read the full article →

New blow for Theresa May as she fails to win BBC Sports Personality of the Year

Thumbnail image for New blow for Theresa May as she fails to win BBC Sports Personality of the Year

There was fresh disappointment for beleaguered Prime Minister Theresa May as Geraint Thomas won the BBC Sports Personality of the Year and Mrs May failed to even secure even a runner-up slot.

Read the full article →

Southampton cancel Sunday’s match with Arsenal because they don’t fancy losing

Thumbnail image for Southampton cancel Sunday’s match with Arsenal because they don’t fancy losing

Southampton FC has announced that it has cancelled the match against Arsenal scheduled for Sunday because they will almost certainly lose and apparently, this sort of thing is fine now.

Read the full article →