A secret cabal of globalist billionaires is today celebrating their success in getting gullible idiots to ditch facemasks, after it became apparent that wearing them rendered their global facial recognition systems obsolete.
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With the news today that a number of Marks and Spencer shops are to cut 950 jobs in store management, senior officials have assured staff that their redundancy will be something special.
As a result of Covid-19, young people all over the UK have found themselves with the perfect excuse not to don a ‘Bride Tribe’ swimming costume and take four dozen selfies next to a questionably sanitary swimming pool.
The BBC has announced a new family sitcom about a woman who is a bit clumsy or something for Thursday evenings after Eastenders.
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