Pandora papers reveal that bears shit in the woods
Journalists have today published more startling and completely unexpected revelations leaked from the Pandora papers, this time revealing that bears shit in the woods.
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Crime figures set to plummet in London as Met Police agree to stop committing crimes
Crime figures are set to reduce by up to 40% in the capital it has been revealed today, as the Metropolitan Police have agreed to stop committing crimes themselves.
Brexiters vindicated after man in a small village south of Amiens sees lawnmower run out of petrol
The smarmy remainer narrative of Brexit turning the UK into a failed state where getting basic necessities is a constant struggle, has been confounded after it was confirmed that someone in France was unable to mow their lawn due to a petrol shortage in his own home.
Bus drivers less shifty than coppers, confirms Scotland Yard
Women in the capital have just been informed that, should they feel threatened by a predatory man, they must immediately seek assistance from the only person with vested authority to stop crime in London: whoever’s driving the N15 night bus to Romford Market.
