Accounts clerk Simon Williams, who was overheard in the kitchen telling a colleague we taking part in #NoNutNovember, has been seen eating nuts this afternoon, according to reports.
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A woman has today struggled to contain her jealous rage after witnessing all the loving attention her husband pays to their woodburner.
Cantankerous loudmouths, who furiously berate anyone not wearing a poppy as if they’ve taken a shit on the cenotaph, will spend the next 11 months blissfully skipping by homeless veterans and not giving a toss about military matters or the way soldiers are treated.
The unvetted mob of crooked thugs and rapists that have somehow been given warrant cards reluctantly agreed that there was an endemic problem in the police of constabularies making supportive tweets during Pride and coppers looking a bit silly when dancing in public.
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