Snorer wakes up completely unaware he’s lucky to still be alive
A local man has woken refreshed this morning, seemingly unaware how close he came to being murdered in his sleep on several occasions last night.
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Middle-class man successfully avoids making eye contact with his plumber
37-year-old Simon Williams managed to get through the ordeal of a 2-hour heating inspection without making eye contact with his plumber once, he has revealed.
Man celebrates winning argument against wife with victorious night on sofa
A local man has spent a victorious night on the sofa after roundly defeating his wife in an argument about chores.
Radicalised dipshits hugely excited to be quoting Magna Carta again
The nation’s morons have announced their delight at being able to quote Magna Carta again, less than two years after they incorrectly used it to protest against masks being used in Tesco.
