The entire nation is today busy scrambling around making pathetic attempts at entirely ignored 2021 resolutions, before making the next list of never to be attempted personal improvement goals.
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A man who ate a Toblerone and half a chocolate orange for breakfast has insisted today he just needs to get all the chocolate out of the house so he can start his diet for New Year.
Humiliatingly, a man is still walking around with a paper hat on his head, almost a week after pulling his cracker.
Things have got so bleak in a Chelmsford household that the desperate family have been forced to turn to the handful of toffee pennies in the Quality Street tub.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
bellendry from all around the world.
