The nation’s felines have begun to protest that pictures of them looking outside from an open door are constantly being posted online by middle-class cat owners along with comparisons to Brexit that were mildly amusing in 2016 but are now a tired cliché.
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A woman who has entered therapy to confront her compulsive niceness is unaware she is actually a total twat.
Parliament ruled out a further 137 versions of Brexit last night, raising the total number of rejected Brexit proposals to 4,973.
Prime Minister Theresa May has dismissed proposals to employ more police officers to tackle knife crime as an April Fools Day prank.
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