After reports that ISIS bride-slash-reality television hate figure, Shamima Begum, was granted the right to return to the UK to fight the revocation of her British citizenship, firefighters were called to reports of spontaneous human combustions of numerous red-faced gammons at the Daily Mail offices in London.
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A 15-year-old who ran away to join a Chaos cult has won her legal battle to return home and serve the Emperor, we can report.
A rapper has used his new record to describe how he has had sexual intercourse with several ladies.
Bitcoin has reinforced its burgeoning reputation as the financial instrument of choice among the Internets most trustworthy people after a Twitter hack saw dozens of high-profile accounts offer unrealistic returns for using giving away a thousand dollars worth of it.
Keep up with the latest bouts of catastrophic
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