UK Spoof News and Satire

Science

Continued existence of Chris Grayling leads to concern that human evolution is broken

Scientists have expressed concern that the continued existence of Transport Minister Chris Grayling could indicate that human evolution is no longer working properly.

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Chinese probe to dark side of the moon accidentally lands on Decepticon base

Megatron and the rest of the Decepticons are ‘royally hacked off’ after a Chinese moon-probe landed slap bang on top of their secret base, we can reveal.

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Schrödinger’s celebrity attends Jools Holland’s Hootenanny while simultaneously watching it at home

A popular celebrity has enjoyed both appearing on and watching at some distance Jools Holland’s New Year’s Eve celebrations in accordance with the tried and tested laws of Quantum Mechanics.

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Danish scientists isolate Hygges Boson

In breaking news announced today, scientists working at Copenhagen University have identified the fundamental particle of nice, pleasant cosiness.

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UN apologises after host asks Sir David Attenborough if he can twerk

The UN has apologised to Sir David Attenborough after he was asked by the host at a UN climate change conference a host if he could twerk.

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Dog approximately 60% mud

The body mass of a family dog is almost two-thirds mud, according to reports this morning.

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Britain responds to David Attenborough’s heartfelt climate change plea by attaching sixty trillion Christmas lights to its rooftops

Sir David Attenborough is said to be ‘face-palming incessantly’ this morning after Britain reacted to his stirring words at the UN climate change summit by illuminating the nation with enough tacky Christmas lighting to shame the rapture, it has emerged.

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