Tories promise to make the North as expensive and overcrowded as the South
The UK Government has unveiled plans to make the country’s poorer areas as horrendously pricey and overpopulated as its more prosperous regions.
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Scientific advances mean Michael Gove may soon be able to f*ck off enough
For many years now, it has been assumed that it was physically impossible for Michael Gove to ever actually fuck off enough, but thanks to a new scientific advance in fucking off he could actually fuck off enough before the end of the year.
Boris Johnson accuses Keir Starmer of failing to prosecute Jack the Ripper
In a diversion from his prepared remarks on the publication of Sue Gray’s interim report into Number 10 lockdown parties, Boris Johnson has called Labour leader Keir Starmer out for his inability to locate Jack the Ripper, 100 years before his birth.
Government reveals plans for a series of moving platforms to fulfil ‘levelling up’ agenda
Michael Gove, Minister for Levelling Up and twice winner of Slimy Creep Monthly’s Man of the Year, has announced plans to build a series of moving platforms that will form the basis of the Government’s long-mooted ‘levelling up’ agenda.
