Dreadful people unite to urge tolerance of Russian actions in Ukraine
Dreadful people from all across the British political spectrum have united to explain that Russian actions in invading Ukraine are ‘not that bad really.’
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Putin breaks up playground fight by giving school bully a catapult
Vladimir Putin has ensured playground fisticuffs will be kept to a minimum after handing a ‘peacekeeping’ weapon to the main aggressor.
Boris Johnson to sanction Russia by only letting them launder money on weekdays
In response to Vladimir Putin’s continued aggression towards Ukraine, Boris Johnson has issued a tough new sanction against Russia by introducing a tough new law that will effectively ban Russian nationals from laundering money on weekends.
Vladimir Putin declares Chelsea an independent protectorate of Russia
To protect Chelsea supporters from the oppression of the premier league table, Vladimir Putin has declared his intention to intervene in London on ‘humanitarian grounds’.
