Report: Humanity remains happy with shitty cabal of bastards ruling over them
A new report has found that humans across the globe remain largely happy with having a shitty cabal of bastards ruling over them.
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All future government bullshit to be delivered by the Imperial ton
In a move designed to appease out of touch voters who long for yesteryear, the government has announced that all future bullshit deliveries will be measured in imperial tons.
From asbestos to white dogshit: Six cherished things of our past the government is bringing back
In an exclusive collaboration with Her Majesty’s Cabinet Office, NewsThump is able to reveal some of the treasured symbols of times-gone-by that were cruelly banned by the EU, but will now be making a glorious return.
Republicans finally back gun control after school shootings repositioned as 560-week abortions
Senior Republicans have finally thrown their weight behind gun reform after the latest school shooting was repositioned as a series of 560-week abortions.
