Foreign secretary Boris Johnson has spent the morning with officials learning the difference between something being very small, and simply being a long way away.
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A spokesperson for the Special Air Service has spoken out to defend Nadine Dorries, insisting that wasting time you don’t have on a decision you can’t make before leaping in the wrong direction, sounds exactly like them.
Chris Grayling, Transport Minister and twice winner of the UK’s Most Vacuous Man competition, has announced a major new plan to hope that the trains sort themselves out.
Paul Dacre, who announced that he would be leaving his role as the editor of the Daily Mail yesterday is set to be catapulted back into the public eye almost immediately, with whispers that he is set to become the new Minister for Brexit.
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