Mark Francois explodes
Leader of Perfidious Albion on Speed, Mark Francois, has exploded, it was revealed last night.
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William Barr publishes summary of Harry Potter series claiming Voldemort was “completely exonerated”
US Attorney General William Barr has used his unique ability to summarise large volumes of text into easily digestible soundbites, by insisting the seven-volume Harry Potter saga completely exonerates Lord Voldemort.
Redacted Mueller report shows Trump guilty of ████████ with ███████ and ████ ██ ███!
The long-anticipated Mueller report has finally been released, though the Attorney General has redacted the bit about Donald Trump ████ ██████ with the ██████ in the run-up to the 2016 presidential election.
Government that can’t make its own MPs support it genuinely believes it can stop teenagers from wanking
In what is seen as yet another example of Theresa May’s inability to face reality, the government is going ahead with a plan to stop minors accessing pornography using a registration method that will take the average person about seven seconds to get around.
