Anne Widdecombe has achieved the impossible, by ensuring the British public take her even less seriously than they did when Anton Du Beke dragged her across the Strictly dancefloor like he was disposing of a body.
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After a decade that saw vast swathes of equatorial land become too hot to sustain population, that saw the loss of 50% of Europe’s land mass to flooding, and that saw conclusive proof that climate change would destroy the planet within a generation, the overriding emotion of the remaining population of Britain was one of relief that Londoners of 2019 were able to get home in time for the One Show.
Preliminary polling has put Gerard Batten under fire from UKIP members concerned that the excessive focus from MEP candidates on how racism and rape are absolutely hilarious, is putting off elderly eurosceptics in Wiltshire and Surrey.
Buckingham Palace officials have contacted the Ecuadorian Embassy to ask if their spare room will be available for the duration of Donald Trump’s forthcoming state visit.
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