Rory Stewart, the independent London mayoral candidate affectionately known as Posh Gollum, has caused the capital’s residents to fear going into their own living room in case they find him in his pyjamas ready to ask them what they really want out of politicians.
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Boris Johnson has given the go-ahead to explore building a bridge between Northern Ireland and Scotland, given his stellar track record at building bridges across water.
Health Secretary Matt Hancock has declared the Coronavirus “a serious and imminent threat” to public health, which according to people familiar with his approach to the public health, is a bit fucking rich coming from him.
Boris Johnson’s government has announced that it has learned the lessons of the past and will carefully avoid mentioning Windrush when deporting British people who, how can they put it, “may not be fond of winter sports”.
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